What is You Are Not Alone?
A journey of heartbreak over the loss of a child and the joy as one woman finally gives birth to her rainbow baby.
You Are Not Alone is a story of loss and grief and the things we don’t talk about after a miscarriage. It explores how miscarriage mentally, emotionally and physically impacts women and men, those who have suffered multiple losses and those from different nationalities and backgrounds, as well as the roles social media and religion play in the loneliness.
Take a look around your office and when you walk down the street – many of the women and men around you are carrying a burden and hiding a grief that is hard to talk about. Every year 103,000 couples report a miscarriage in Australia*. In fact, statistics show that 1 in 4 pregnancies sadly end this way, that is, a pregnancy that has not developed past 20 weeks.
This five-part, online documentary series explores and opens the discussion around miscarriage and breaks down the silence surrounding it.
‘You Are Not Alone’ is a narrative documentary series looking at all aspects of miscarriage through the eyes of everyday Australians who have experienced either their first or multiple losses. We share the experiences of couples and families who have lost a baby, as well as a leading obstetrician, researchers and support organisations, about the medical reasons behind miscarriage and the support that exists for the many thousands who experience it each year.
The series will take audiences on a personal and sometimes challenging journey, with soon to be parents, who have experienced falling pregnant and then losing their baby. We ask difficult questions about what it was like for them beyond that moment, how they made sense of their loss and how they rebuild and carry on, while witnessing others finding joy through their own pregnancy.
We look at how society deals with loss and grief connected with miscarriage, but also how it impacts men and same-sex couples, how remoteness and isolation affects dealing with a loss and how the grief stays with so many, so many years on.
In late 2017 my husband and I found out that we were pregnant for the first time. We had discussed adding to our family for 6 years and finally had reached the stage where it was a reality.
Excitement was understatement, we told our families and friends early (or what many say is early) and as we waited for our 12 week scan everything seemed ʻnormalʼ and we couldnʼt wait to see our child. Our scan was like any other day, however it would change our lives forever. We were told in that scan that we had a ʻnon-viableʼpregnancy, and that in fact we had not progressed past 9 weeks. After we had gone through the medical procedure - a D&C - I tried hard to get back to normal life.
Being open and talking about our loss helped me get through that time, but what it also did was opened my eyes to how many others had gone through what I was experiencing. I thought we needed to be able to discuss this openly and honestly. To break down the stigma that is still attached to miscarriage. The blame, the hurt, the misunderstanding that women and men go through. To be able to properly invest in this storyline as a filmmaker, I think it was important to have gone through it personally, to be able to be empathetic and understanding to those who were willing to share and be part of the project.
In May 2018, I released a video on my Facebook page which was an interview telling some of my story. The video reached over 13,000 people and had more that 8000 views. The swell of support from those who watched the video was truly amazing and went to show that this project was important for those who are part of the documentary and those who are likely to experience the loss and grief in the future.
You Are Not Alone was created to tell the stories of those men and women who have experienced their own losses. Little did I realise that my own story would become an integral part of the documentary series, something that I struggled with, but with the help of my supportive husband we began the journey.
The film starts off with a quote from one of the participants standing in a busy mall. A thought track about miscarriage and how she didn't realise about the silence surrounding a loss. We cut to the same person in a phone grab as she is experiencing first hand her own loss.
From here we begin telling the stories of the very brave women and men who agreed to be interviewed.
The interviews become the narrative to the documentary and we explore each of the participants history. This will be a very organic edit and will be determined on the answers given in the interview process.
As this is a very emotive subject the interviews would be shot with two cameras to give create differences and edit points. Emotive overlay footage of the subject will be used to further enhance the story line. With music chosen to complement the narrative at the time, so sorrowful building to hopeful should it require it.